Do not think of apology as winning or losing
Sometimes people value their ego and argument more than the relationship. You stick to your point and want to be right in the fight, but winning a fight can degrade your relationship with them. So, even if you think you are not wrong, if you have hurt the other person’s sentiments, it is better to apologize sincerely.
Apologize Sincerely
When you are sorry about what you did and are ready to make amends, you would sincerely feel that you should apologize. An apology is not about I was wrong or I was right, it is about saving the relationship and putting your ego aside. You may be right in a situation and don’t deserve to apologize but the apology will only help the other person feel that you understand them and feel that they are in pain.
When you apologize, say sorry like you mean it, reflect on your mistake and promise to be a better person but do it when you are ready to do it.
Be Ready to Change Yourself
An apology means nothing if you are not ready to mend your ways. If you are sorry about something, try not to repeat it. Change yourself for good and stop hurting the ones you love. To have a happy and healthy relationship with your loved ones, focus on changing what is causing the problem and avoid the problem from happening again.
Listen and Learn
If you've hurt somebody, make sure to really listen to how they feel and how you can do better in the future. Listening and opening up a real discussion about how you're feeling can strengthen a relationship even more than if there hadn't been a disagreement at all.
Do not avoid the conversation, but do not push it too hard either. It is the offended party's decision whether or not they wish to accept your apology or even talk to you.
Most of all, let yourself learn from the experience and make a real and honest effort to not hurt the other person again. Let your actions speak for you.
Use the 3 Steps
An effective apology follows 3 simple steps:
1. Express remorse. Say you're sorry. It sounds obvious, but make sure you do it as it makes your apology that much more effective and sincere.
2. Admit responsibility. Say what you did wrong and why you're sorry. Try not to make it about yourself here - focus on how your actions affected the other person.
3. Make amends. Try to extend an olive branch to your friend or partner that you've hurt, and make sure to give them enough time to decide whether or not they'd like to accept it.
No Buts
People will be more willing to accept your apology if you hold yourself accountable for what you did wrong. Resist the urge to explain how you were actually in the right. Also resist the urge to turn the apology around on the other person, do not say "I'm sorry I did this, but it was because you did that." An apology is meant to express remorse to another person and try to repair a damaged relationship, if your apology is not accepted, then you may not have any relationship to repair at all.
A good rule of thumb is to focus on what the other person feels, rather than what you feel.
Stop Playing the Blame Game
When you and your loved one are going through problems, it is very easy to start blaming each other. When you are ready to apologize, understand the position of the person you want to apologize to. Stop blaming them and be empathetic. Apologize in a way that shows compassion and empathy. There is no point in apologizing if the apology contains or is followed by blaming.
Acknowledge what you did wrong
One of the best ways to apologize is by explaining the error. You should acknowledge your mistake and explain your reason behind doing that. Also, ensure that you have understood your mistake and you will not repeat it. The reason behind this is offering “Sorry” without stating that you have understood that your words or actions were hurtful does not have an impact on the listener.
Tell them how you will change
An apology is meaningless if you continue to behave the same way. Actions speak louder than words. So let them know that you will change that aspect of your life and avoid this problem in the future. Also, you must follow through with that change to let the other person know that you are truly sorry.
Apologize Again and Again
If you think you have wronged someone so much that one apology is not enough, be ready to apologize again and again. If the pain they felt because of your actions cannot be forgiven with one sorry, you will have to apologize from time to time. This process of forgiveness will take time, so be open and sincere to ask for forgiveness and earn their trust again.
